Clandestine Memorandum

           I have yet to discover for what purpose I have been relocated with my lady to a peculiar environment. My lady has been issued an alien identification card by the governing authorities. I am coming to believe that my being here has more to do with her circumstances than my own.  If this is not the case I have generated four possible theories as to what could have brought us to Korea.

After much postulation I have not ruled out the possibility that we are indeed fleeing the authorities in our own country.  My lady, forgive my saying so, may have acted upon some unlawful conduct. Or have I? Inconceivable. I am an upstanding and respected citizen, as was she.. I confess! My behavior is not exemplary. I took provisions, a sandwich to be precise, from the hands of a child. Is this my retribution? I will feign moroseness in that case, I have taken a liking to my lot. I relish the hot floor, and close quarters. My lady is present more often than not and this is unusual. House arrest perhaps?

           My second supposition is improbable but a possibility nonetheless. Science is the suspect. I am exploring the concept that my lady and I are partaking in an involuntary scientific procedure, an experiment. The study could be measuring the adaptability of creatures in unknown environments. Contemplate the various conditions I have been subjected to: futuristic modes of transportation, species intolerance, innovative foodstuffs, language barriers, and various longitude transitions. I doubtfully will produce insightful results.

           Thirdly I have imagined the feasibility that I am on a mission. Perhaps it will be revealed that it is my task to debrief a leader figure about some information that I have yet to receive. Granted I may be best suited for the errand, I should have been properly propositioned. They must have heard about my cunning, swiftness, dexterity, and tenacity. I don’t condemn efforts to recruit my aptitude. I often wonder about the destitute felines that crouch near rubbish heaps throughout the country. Perchance my mission is to act as their savior.

           Lastly I meditate on the practicability that this is a dream or a hallucination. It is quite possible that I am under the influence of anesthetic while I have my jowls cleansed of odorous debris and that I will awake any moment back at home. When I wake from this reverie of sorts, I am hopeful it will be springtime.

Thorney Meeting and a Dreary Day

I awake to my confounded eye glossed over in excessive mucous. It may be that I brushed it against some shrubbery while on an outing. I think tomorrow if my condition has not improved I will seek professional care. I wonder if animal health care in Korea is as promising as the human kind.

Perhaps going out of doors will do me some good. Alas, blustering wind sweeps the playground where I frequent. I don't particularly delight in the company of children yet I see myself as an ambassador to my species in hopes that they will think twice before relishing victuals from dog in the future. The rain ceased an hour before but has touched everything and makes walking beyond the bricked surface unpleasant. I imagined today I would venture to a local temple but the weather hampers my ambitions. My lady has a persistent cough and I doubt she would want to trek over the many hills and up a steep set of stairs that the temple is rumored to be located. So it is decided, we will remain here and occupy ourselves with books and bones.

Before I can decide to return indoors a fluffy youngster bounds from the neighboring flat. He is not on a lead and approaches me directly. It is a deviation from my usual character but I instantly take a liking to him and offer to romp a little. He is unsure of my advances but I assure him of my intentions so he takes a single step closer. As he leans in to properly greet me I feel a tickle in my throat. I let out the most obnoxious and wretched hack quite in his face. He loses curiosity and speedily retreats from our engagement. I am left dumbfounded and to my chagrin I have lost a potential acquaintance. Perhaps the morrow will prove to be kinder.

5 Things I am Unaccustomed to in Korea

5 Things I am Unaccustomed to in Korea

• The clothing runs small Not that I am fond of donning apparel but when the occasion calls for it I find the sizes are narrow.
• Entering my dwelling on the 4th floor Just enter someplace on the 2nd or 3rd floor.  There is no need to clamber beyond that but my lady insists on entering our domicile on the 4th landing. It all seems unnecessary.  
• Unusual forms of transportation Being persuaded to travel to my destination by plane or train.  Absurd! The typical bicycle or automobile ride should suffice.
• Eating at opposite times My breakfast and supper schedule is half a day off.  The typical times to eat are topsy-turvy.
• Warmth from the floor The air is heated from the floor whereas I’m accustomed to blown air warming the floor.  What a pleasant idea. 
  
  
  
  

Sojourn to Seoul

The atlas lies before me creased and sheening in the waning afternoon light.  I know my lady would greatly appreciate my assistance in plotting our course so I suggest the river that spans the territory of Seoul that we are to occupy.  The reason for this sojourn is leisure.  We shall spend most of our time lounging in the sun and partaking in many refreshments throughout the day.  Splendid.  My lady escorts me to my back carriage and surrounds me with the finest shrouds.  Together we hail a chauffeur and convene with my lady’s new companion.  Upon boarding our locomotive I feel peckish and beckon for a dainty.  I am quickly bestowed a cylindrical mass that tastes of particle board.  It will have to do.  I ask for seconds.  

The journey is lengthy, totaling three hours.  While staring out the window the sun is reflected off massive edifices onto my visage.  Since it is fine and warms my brow I stare longingly.  Fellow travelers mull through the aisle and depart.  They all have a peculiar smell so I decide it is in their best interest that I investigate.  Prodding each and every one with my muzzle I detect a mosaic of aromas.  I lean further from my seat toward the lavatory and promptly recognize the suggestion of excrement. The fusion of the fragrances emanating from the people and the scent from the loo is enthralling.  If one could roll in air I would certainly entertain that idea.  Occasionally a pleasant stranger will pat my head while some bizarre citizenry will recoil from my advances. Such a peculiar species.  

We make our way to the underground rail system and through the streets of New York.  Sit tight, where are we? Another great city. What a gaffe. The bodies crowd one another and push past my carriage. Unbeknownst to them I am perched within. I press my snout against the mesh and scoff. Upon entering our accommodations we are cordially ushered in and introduced to the other travelers. I wait patiently to be introduced while they exchange pleasantries. When I am finally presented we all get acquainted and take the customary self induced photography together.  I meet a gentleman from Japan and Singapore as well as a lady from France.  While my lady is out I interrogate them to ensure our safety. To win my approval they furnish me with tangerine bribes. I was excreting orange juice by the closing of the day.

Walking briskly down an alleyway in Hongdae I can smell the street vendors preparing delicacies. As we pass a man feverishly tending to his labor I find a morsel of which he has carelessly lost his grip. I kindly gather the disregarded rations.  It is something untried by me: Ohdang, or fish cake. I am secretly optimistic that this man is consistently boorish. Further down the way I see a Golden Retriever and another dog similar in size but a great mass of unruly grey tendrils. I wish to be familiarized but our stroll takes us in another direction. We pass countless cafes and second skin shops.

The next two days pass effortlessly. I nap frequently with the Japanese gentlemen and sup when the rest of the guests do so. There is a knock at the door and the host shows two unfamiliar faces into our domicile. As I approach one of the patrons to give a warm reception I am hastily asked to take leave by the closest newcomer. Not understanding the unreasonable request I advance. The host beckons me to my lodging until my scheduled departure. The justification for the behavior was due to a superstition about my presence interfering with the visitor's rituals. Whatever pacifies you pleases me. I will vacate the following morning so the inconvenience is not worrisome. I only wish that we could find some collective purpose.

          On the return trip I lounged in my carriage in an “Italian” restaurant. The repast smelled divine but it was too rich for my palate. Afterwards we waited for our train in a cafe. My heart cannot manage caffeine so I abstained from that as well. My next excursion to Seoul I hear that my Gandmama will call on us. What a pleasant reuniting that shall be. Perchance we will visit that river I suggested. Until then I will continue my studies. My current priority is learning to “shake a paw”. Perhaps someday I will comprehend that instruction in Korean. 
 

The Initial Journey to Korea

I feel funny from the pink treat my lady pushed down my throat. I think it was pink, it looked achromatic to me, but she called it pink.. to clarify about any wandering thoughts one should be informed that I indeed have been self diagnosed with DADD, or dog attention deficit disorder. Sometimes I'll be in my grass plot then I'll blink a few times and I find myself scraping ice cream sprinkles off the sidewalk with my front teeth nearly half a mile away. I'm not sure if I was born this way or acquired the disorder later in life.  I cannot maintain one train of thought long enough to come to any firm conclusion. Just stay with me. The point always appears, eventually. Where were we? Ah. The treat. I am resenting my diminutive quarters. Usually I wouldn't mind since I slumber in a cat-style hut. This, however, is intolerable and I must find an escape. How long have I been in here? According to my calculations, which are always accurate, I have been in this solitary confinement for 22 days.

   

    Recently I have been permitted the occasional carrot, peanut, and mellon cube. The uncertainty is unbearable though. When, when will I see the light of day?! I let out a smallish groan. No result. Perhaps if I persist someone will liberate me. My lady begins to sway my quarters. What is she hinting? I infer that my pleading is encouraged so I endure. Since there has been many days of my good behavior I am granted lap privileges. My lady places me under one of her second skins, a long and durable layer and I am able to steal a few glances at my surroundings. People are lined up in rows in front of small flashing panels. The panels are similar to the ones they talk to and pet all day long. They are all pacified by them except the few captives that stumble between the seated individuals. What had we done to deserve this treatment? The cramped and odorous space is cruel and unusual.

    A sentinel, kind enough to empathize with my plight, hands me a platter of scrap vegetables. Promptly overwhelmed with gratuitous feelings I offer to lick her wrist but my acknowledgment is intercepted by my lady. She accepts on my behalf, baring her teeth and bowing her head in submission. We finish our rations together. My lady is so generous. Who knows when the next time we will be granted provisions, but she makes sure I have nourishment enough to carry on.

   

    Relieving myself is now first and foremost on my mind. I have nervously drank the entirety of my allowance from my travel bowl. Wait. Why are we furnished with adventure paraphernalia? Did my lady have premature knowledge of these dire circumstances? What part in it has she played? I refuse to believe she would permit such treatment for I am her permanent charge. Unthinkable! If I find she premeditated this I will not be angry. I will be sorry her spitefulness would lead to altering our relationship. Until I find indisputable grounds to incriminate her, I will force the thought from my mind. Now I must find a place to dismiss my urges. Upon sensing my urgency my lady transports me undercover of her coating. I do hope she is stealthy, if we are found out I can't imagine the repercussions. As I am uncovered I realize my surroundings are not conducive to finding relief. We are ankle to ankle without space to lift a leg. After much deliberation I suspect she won't take notice if I...go on her shoe. She does indeed detect my intentions and removes my aim. My alleviation is lengthy and the damage is obvious. My lady proceeds to place me in the sink whilst decontaminating the soiled area. One of her legs is raised above her head and positioned on an adjacent wall to steady herself. What remarkable coordination. Returning to our confinement we have no other options to pacify ourselves so we slumber.

   

    Untold time has passed and our caravan must have taken us far for the magnetic field has shifted and we are poles apart from our origins. This project we are apart, of I have decided, is of consequence. The significance, however, is not clear to me. An experiment perhaps, with the most spectacular specimens chosen for proper results. This possibility lingers in my consciousness until a booming voice reverberates above. The pressure around me changes as the level of our quarters declines. What magic is this?! My lady was calm. Her flashing panel pacifies her. I too want to gaze at it to escape the disorientation and whatever preempting fate awaits us.

    Not long after the chaos ceases. The captives slowly lumber about and eventually filed out of our domicile. I am escorted back to my cramped holdings. When I am let out, a foreign face greets mine. She waves a device over the length of my body until the thing chimes. It has been confirmed. At some point during my slumber I must have been chipped with a tracking device. I must formulate a plan to remove it at a later time. Our exit is hasty; the moment an opportunity presented itself we stowed away in a van. It is of utmost importance to relocate to a shelter where we can regroup and evaluate our surroundings. We arrive and I am let out on my safety lead to asses the situation. The smells are unknown, the ground cover is just as absorbent as my former location, and the air is crisp. After enjoying a portion of provisions we rest to maintain our strength. I will be prepared for the days that follow.

Let me introduce myself. I relish: prolonged excursions adjacent the coastline, pausing to lift a leg on the flora, and I am quite the discerning epicurean set on unearthing only the most exceptional delicacies. Although homeschooled, I have acquired an upstanding education under my companion's instruction. She has been my au pair, charge, and confidant, my lady. Do not cross her, or you will answer to my inflictions that will leave you wishing an early arrival to perdition.

I was born into unfortunate circumstances.  Upon entering this world ruffians severed my tail.  I was sold to a barbaric bunch who referred to me as "Bruiser".  After a considerable amount of mistreatment I was taken in by a forgiving soul whom I companion daily.  

My vocation has landed me a world apart from my previous domicile in Richmond, Virginia.  I currently reside in a foreign place called Nonsan, South Korea for the time being.  The following entries are testimonies of my recent undertaking as travel companion.